Observations

Janet Jackson gave me my first real boner - So I had the ipod on shuffle today and a few Janet tracks from Rhythm Nation came up. And as I was listening to her voice on said songs and getting aroused I came to the realization that this was all very familiar. That girls voice on certain parts of those songs is straight up crack juice and I even recognized that as a child aka instant 8 year old boner. Chuuch

Based on my ipod playlist I'm apparently a gay man named Steffan that lives in Midtown Atlanta in 1984 - I was looking at my recently played list and Madonna, Vanity 6, Minnie Riperton and *sigh* Hall & Oates have all been pumping *pause* out of my headphones. I'm ashamed and that's all I have to say about that

Beyonce on the AMA's last night - Lawd Jesus...that's all I have to say...I'd suck on her pussy like the antidote was in it

Hours are getting cut at work - not a good look. Especially since rent is coming up due soon. Its also not a good look for my recently developed crack habit. Fuck! Can't a nigga be a functioning drug addict and not go broke doing it anymore!?

Why can't you control when you mature? - due to recent events I began thinking about my last relationship and realize that a lot of dumb and petty shit ruined it. And that all of this could've been avoided if she and I had just acted like adults instead of being childish. We had a good thing and let it get away because of what my grandma calls "foolishness". You live and you learn and you move on and apply said "learning" to current and future situations. But does it have to be so goddamn painful?

It's hard being there for people sometimes - aside from being lashed out at for things that you didn't do. It can get hard because you have to try and empathize with them and let them get shit off their chest all while attempting to snap them the fuck out of it. And as a person that has seen some rather low moments in his life and didn't always have a shoulder to cry on I'm cool being that person. But you just have to be careful what you say and how you say it and I'm not always the best at it. I try though and I hope she...errrr....these people realize it.

Things I've learnnnnned this year

- Papa John's pan pizza crust has crack in it
- so does Mayfield Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream
- I need to learn how to hide my emotions better...people take advantage of me because I don't
- women use tears as a weapon and that pisses me off to no end
- I really miss Atlanta and I plan on getting back there as soon as I can
- I love being close to my family and being able to see my mother whenever I can
- I don't let go as quickly as I should
- trying to understand "crazy" will only make you crazy
- my fear of being robbed again still exists...everytime I come home I look around my apartment before walking in

I love this guy....no homo